Ghanaian counselor, Counselor Adofoli addressed cheating in his latest post.
The renowned relationship coach elaborated on some of the reasons why people cheat in relationships.
He titled the message, ‘WHY YOU ARE LIKELY TO CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNER’ and it reads;
“The vertebral column of every relationship is Trust. Trust is not just the foundation of a lasting relationship but the back bone. If you have issues with trust in the relationship, such relationships don’t only suffer, but is also full of pains and hurt. There is nothing more painful than to know your partner, a spouse doesn’t trust you.
It is better for your partner or spouse to trust you than love you for how good is a body without the backbone? How good is a relationship without trust? Sadly, we play with Trust in our relationship yet we don’t want to destroy the relationship. We play dangerous games that will end up hurting ourselves.
We do things that lead us to cheat on our spouse or partner and these actions are what break or damage the relationship. To some people, they try to play it smart by hiding and lying but with all that, it is just a matter of time, they will be caught up with their own shadow.
When your partner trusts you, he or she feels safe with you. They can be naked with you, fall asleep and still find a way to have a sweet dream. That is different from a partner who does not trust you. He or she lives with you in fear and uncertainty. They live in suspicion.
When your partner trusts you, he or she is willing to share with you their body, mind, ideas, plans, money, etc. When he or she doesn’t trust you, they become more selfish, they can look on and see you suffer buy deny you help.
If those in a relationship will treat Trust with care like the way they treat their vertebral column or backbone, they will have lasting and happy relationships. Those you meet who tell you they have Trust issues are those whose trust was broken in a previous relationship and have not let go the past but have used that as their identity.
One may term cheating as a mistake while others might see it as bad choice. But when we learn about the reason why one ends up cheating on their spouse, it will help us not to repeat the mistake again, or take such bad decisions again.
If you are married or in a relationship, be mindful of your conversation with the opposite sex. Be mindful how you talk with them. The frequency, duration and things you talk about. Many of our relationships start from conversations and that is how you get attached to someone or propose to someone or tell them how you feel about them.
The opposite sex has different sets of needs. A man is looking for a friendship, the woman on the other hand is looking for open communication. When men are lonely, they want a friend, someone they can talk to. Women are looking for men who talk to them about everything, pour themselves to them. That is how she gets to understand him, that is how she connects. That is the kind of person they love talking to.
No wonder women fall for men who say they are having issues with their relationship or spouse. As a man, your best friend is your spouse or partner. If you think you are losing your friend, it is time for you to seek help. Find out why that is happening and how you can get your friend back. You don’t go looking for a new friend online because your spouse is not willing to talk to you or because you are not happy with them.
Ladies, if your man is not making time to talk to you, seems too busy or hurt, etc. Seek for help on how to get them to make time for the relationship or resolve the issue. It is not the best time to look for an opposite sex to talk to. The more you talk to them, the more you build a bond between you two. Soon, you will start developing feelings for them. You look forward to your talk or chat with them.
They might be in a serious relationship or even married. A relationship they are not willing to let go. Just because you have great conversations and they seem happy with you does not mean they will choose you over their spouse. Lots of these casual chats or conversations, has messed people’s lives. You get to a point that you cannot differentiate between just a friend or stranger and your spouse. This happens because no boundaries were put in place.
If you are not ready for a relationship or not ready to cheat on your partner, keep your conversations on the surface. Besides normal pleasantries, there should not be any further questions and answers. Be it just a friend or an Ex. Protect what you have, don’t play with it.
In conclusion “Good men will be rescued from harm, but cheaters will be destroyed” – Proverbs 28:18 (TLB).”